Cochran Said He Is Unsure How Anyone Could Remove That Much Merchandise From A Store Without Being Noticed.

He learned from the best!

Michael Moore at his best.......

"I would like to start by saying that Charlton Heston has blown my head off.

And now that I think about it, he had good reason.

I should have killed myself long ago. But I don't like guns...."

(just cheeseburgers. lots and lots of cheeseburgers........)

Sorry Kids, That It Has Taken Me So Long.

I have finally come out of a headache induced coma, and I'm feeling better. Staring at the screen was somewhat difficult, but all is well now and we can return to the world of enlightenment.

(sponsored by PEPSI)

"Mildred, These Wipers Suck!"

(Now we know why old people should'nt drive.)

Davis Is Back!!!! (wokatika-wokatika-wokatika)

Because of my absence, I thought I would treat you all to my favorite song, ever.

Match the pictures.

(and sorry for the delay)

Davis

Britney's toxic sex tape could be released

Which is fine.....I mean, she's a good southern girl and all..............

(teachin' her sister right)

I Freakin' Love This Guy.........

And I love Conan too, but......Yes, he's a puss.

(Sorry Conan..)

Davis Is Mad.P Diddy Must Go.....

IT'S NOT "MAKING THE BAND"....

IT'S MAKING A GROUP OF SINGERS.

IF THEY CAN PLAY.......

PROVE IT.

THE BAND IS ALREADY THERE GETTIN' PAID TO MAKE YOU LOOK GOOD.

(And when you become old news...The Band will still be makin' a shit ton 'o money.......)

IF PUFFY DIDDLY WHACK DADDY PUFFIN MUFF DIVER P. DIDDITY WANNABE "GIVE A DOG A CREATIVE BONE IN MY BODY" EVER SET FOOT ON THE ROAD,

AND DID IT THE WAY WE DID, HE WOULD CRY.

WE ACTUALLY HAD TO PLAY.........AND CARRY OUR OWN SHIT.

NOT TURNTABLES, BUT ALL OF IT.

AND WE SPENT TIME SINGING....NO. REALLY. NOT YELLIN' "WHUT" OR "YEAH", OR "UH-HUH" OR "WORD" ALL THROUGH THE SONG.

(How much does that guy get paid. Jesus. There's some real talent, huh?)

BITE ME.

(You're not making a band. You are making more of you and that is sad. Which, is actually wrong because you are making a vocal group that should be able to sing.)

Why should you be the judge?

I feel better now.

(and thank you for reading my letter to Puff ,P.Diddy,Puff Daddy, Sean Puffy Combs, Comb Daddy, Puffy Combs, Sean John Comby, P. Sean Combstien.)

And last but not least........

WHAT.. WHAT.. WHAT..

UH-HUH

YEAH

WORD.

Ready For The End Of The World?

This guy is.
Here's a buttload of scenarios for the end of the world to brighten you day.

Pick your favorite!!!

YAY!!!

Man Takes Citizenship Oath, Wins Lottery

Only in F*ckin' Iowa.....
Apparently he is now the father of this country since, according to him, he adopted it..........

And Now For My Seven Answers To Six Questions. But Still Have Seven Answers To Each Question.

Seven Things I Plan To Do Before I Die:

1. Play Madison Square Garden
2. Jump out of a perfectly good airplane (but others have to die first. I'll be, like, 90..)
3. Give my Dad a wedgie (yup, best'a luck to me..)
4. Write my life story
5. Use the force (it is strong in this one)
6. Eat squid
7. Stay alive


Seven Things I Can Do:


1. Play drums
2. Turn a frown upside down
3. Believe and create
4. Fix your A/C
5. Produce offspring like you wouldn't believe...
6. Cook like a mofo'
7. Pretend I know what I'm talking about


Seven Things I Cannot Do:


1. Play oboe
2. Rebuild a house in a day (soon. I'm working on it)
3. Separate frozen hamburger patties without severe consequences
4. Look at, or have anything to do with, snot. (I almost puked typing that)
5. Do my wife's job
6. Speak a second language (fluently)
7. Drive without Kati telling me how to at some point (she told me to say that)


Seven Things That Attract Me To Another Person:


1: Definately a sense of humor
2: A sweet ass
3. A love of children
4. Ability to give a great blowjob (did I say that out loud?)
5. One who washes dishes (more than I do)
6. Appreciates all styles of music, no matter how crazy they may be
7. Someone who loves me no matter how stupid I can be


Seven Things I Say Most Often:


1. Shut It!
2. Goddammit!
3. Rock On Sweet Sister!
4. Sunofa Bitch!
5. Get outa' the way, Jackass
6. What the fuck?
7. So, I got my chick up 'dis tounges ass......


Seven Celebrity Crushes:


1. Amy Lee
2. Liz Hurley
3. Emily Procter (CSI Miami)
4. Kate Beckinsale
5. Marg Helgenberger
6. Jeneane Garofalo
7. Lauren Graham (Lorelai Gilmore)

Top 15 Tattoos Of Missouri Prison Inmates...

I guess we know what the "bunny" havin' inmate is doin' right now......All 125 of them......
If I were in prison, I would get a full body tattoo of myself.

Only bigger.

ROCK ON!

Nigga' Pleeze!

Ok, calm down. Don't get mad at me 'till you see the video!!!!

WORD.

Most Wanted...

Apparently the NYPD has something against people with a "lazy eye".

At least it appears that way....

The Great And Powerful Prez Has Spoken...

I gotta spruce up my editing skills. This one is really good!!!

Wow. This Ought To Keep You Occupied For A While...

Welcome to IGOD.

I asked God, "Are you a woman"? God said, "Yes and I am wearing a dress".

I asked "What color"? God said "Yellow". I said "Do you like women"?

God said "Not like that".

So I said "So you like men". God said "Most of them. Some are rude sometimes".

I said "So do you have a penis or a vagina"? God said "Interesting question. I've never had that one before".

I said, "Well, are you a man or a woman"? God said "A woman?

Do you think I would let one of them run the show"?

I said, "You just told me you were a woman wearing a yellow dress,

no wonder we are all so confused".

God said........"I was just kidding around".

If You Missed The Emmys.......

You should check this out. F*ckin' hilarious......

Holy Crap!!

This will take you to the fake magnetic bumper sticker section.

They have it all! This place is great!!

The REAL Story....

This is pretty funny...

Ooohh, Ok. Now I Get It....(God, I Am So Stupid.)

More stuff from those crazy people.....

Worst Album Covers Ever....

I thought the Man O War one was good, but they stole' my idea.

(bastards)

The Definition Of Free Time.......

I'm sure you've all seen this but.......jesus.....this man is not right in the head.

From The Mouths Of Babes....

Well, I was always wondering about Heaven until earlier today. Now I know I am safe.

My 5 year old son told me "When you are in Heaven, and you fall off of your bike, you won't skin your knee because clouds are soft, not hard".

He said this with such a straight face and and was very sincere.

Kids are smart. Don't let them fool you.

They ape you...(monkey, you know what that is, for sure!)

I was amazed at how serious he was.

Kids are smarter than we give them credit for most of the time.......

(be sure to take the time and listen to them.....)

Stephanie..

Go to purevolume.com, if you haven't already.......

It's a lot of good up and coming bands.

Just Waitin' For Hurricane Jimmy.....