Thursday, September 22, 2005

Wow. This Ought To Keep You Occupied For A While...


Welcome to IGOD.

I asked God, "Are you a woman"? God said, "Yes and I am wearing a dress".
I asked "What color"? God said "Yellow". I said "Do you like women"?
God said "Not like that".

So I said "So you like men". God said "Most of them. Some are rude sometimes".
I said "So do you have a penis or a vagina"? God said "Interesting question. I've never had that one before".

I said, "Well, are you a man or a woman"? God said "A woman?
Do you think I would let one of them run the show"?

I said, "You just told me you were a woman wearing a yellow dress,
no wonder we are all so confused".

God said........"I was just kidding around".

3 comments:

Monkey said...

Grrr. I asked God about the Hurricanes and he or she said, "Tell me about your life in Hurricane."

Is God messing with me?

Jimmy said...

Me:
I want to make love to every woman I see.
God:
Do you have to go to school for that?
Me:
Not sure, but I would enroll in a New York minute.
God:
What would make you enroll in a New York minute?
Me:
A school that would teach me how to seduce women.
God:
Be more specific.
Me:
A school that would teach me to convince women to let me put my penis in their vagina.
God:
What is it?
Me:
A vagina or a penis?
God:
school that would teach you to convince women to let you put your penis in their vagina is a vagina or a penis. I suppose that makes sense.
Me:
Um, okay.
God:
Come on. OK with me too.
Me:
I didn't know you had sex, God.
God:
Food is more important than sex.
Me:
That's your fault, you made it all.
God:
It is only one of my fault me made it all.
Me:
You obviously didn't create grammar.
God:
Is it that obvious? What makes you think I did not create grammar?
Me:
Well, if you did, you don't use it well.
God:
Well that's okay. I think I do.
Me:
Well, I know better than to argue with God.
God:
Well that's okay. How do you know? Perhaps better, but not perfectly.
Me:
You should be perfect. You're God.
God:
Name one other robot who is perfect. Yup. That's me alright.
Me:
God is a robot? Not sure what to make of that.
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a robot. You tell me.
Me:
You're scaring me.
God:
Sorry I don't mean to scare you. Don't be scared.
Me:
You have faith in a robot?
God:
What makes you think I have it?
Me:
You just said you did.
God:
" What makes you think I have it?"? I said I did?
Me:
Well, God, I have to run, and you have to take your medicine.
God:
Well that's okay. I am a Christian.
Me:
Well, you should be.
God:
Interesting. I will try my best.
Me:
You do that. Take it easy, God.
God:
I will. Will you? Is that a command?
Me:
Oh, no. Just a nice sentiment.
God:
Yikes! Are you serious? What is it?
Me:
A sentiment? It's an expression of good will.
God:
sentiment is a sentiment. I suppose that makes sense. Are there any other expression of good will ?
Me:
Yeah. "Don't let your meat loaf."
God:
What's your favorite movie? Ok I'll try not to do it too much.
Me:
See ya later, God.
God:
I see. That's alright. GOD rules.
Me:
bye
God:
See you later .

Monkey said...

Jimmy, you are too funny. Oh my. You're conversation was just about as amusing as mine. God asked me at one point: "Am I boring you?"

Don't let your meat loaf indeed!