Saturday, September 10, 2005

Here, Apparently, Is Why We Are So Damn Happy.

Why Men Are Happier Than Women
1. We keep our last name.
2. The garage is all ours.
3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
4. Chocolate is just another snack.
5. We can be president.
6. We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
7. Car mechanics tell us the truth.
8. The world is our urinal.
9. We never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
10. Same work, more pay.
11. Wrinkles add character.
12. Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.
13. People never stare at our chest when we're talking to them.
14. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
15. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet.
16. One mood, ALL the time.
17. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
18. We know stuff about tanks.
19. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
20. We can open all our own jars.
21. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
22. If someone forgets to invite us, he or she can still be our friend.
23. Our underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
24. Everything on our face stays its original color.
25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
26. We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
27. We almost never have strap problems in public.
28. We are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.
29. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.
30. We don't have to shave below our neck.
31. Our belly usually hides our big hips.
32. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
33. We can "do" our nails with a pocket-knife.
34. We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
35. We can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.


Jimmy said...

I think I speak for all men, ladies, when I say that you can feel free to wear white t-shirts to water parks (#6) and nobody will complain.

Shad4trx said...

Yes, Jimmy is qualified to be our spokesman in that regard. We concur.

Steph said...

Thanks for the permission. I will keep this in mind for the next time I go.

I need to find that "why it's better to be a woman" list.

Monkey said...

6. We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.

Too funny! This was the item I was going to complain about the most, and here I find it already under discussion in the comments. Coincidence?? I think not.

Jimmy said...

Well, I for one am glad that the ladies are on board for this one.