Seven Things I Plan To Do Before I Die:
1. Play Madison Square Garden
2. Jump out of a perfectly good airplane (but others have to die first. I'll be, like, 90..)
3. Give my Dad a wedgie (yup, best'a luck to me..)
4. Write my life story
5. Use the force (it is strong in this one)
6. Eat squid
7. Stay alive
Seven Things I Can Do:
1. Play drums
2. Turn a frown upside down
3. Believe and create
4. Fix your A/C
5. Produce offspring like you wouldn't believe...
6. Cook like a mofo'
7. Pretend I know what I'm talking about
Seven Things I Cannot Do:
1. Play oboe
2. Rebuild a house in a day (soon. I'm working on it)
3. Separate frozen hamburger patties without severe consequences
4. Look at, or have anything to do with, snot. (I almost puked typing that)
5. Do my wife's job
6. Speak a second language (fluently)
7. Drive without Kati telling me how to at some point (she told me to say that)
Seven Things That Attract Me To Another Person:
1: Definately a sense of humor
2: A sweet ass
3. A love of children
4. Ability to give a great blowjob (did I say that out loud?)
5. One who washes dishes (more than I do)
6. Appreciates all styles of music, no matter how crazy they may be
7. Someone who loves me no matter how stupid I can be
Seven Things I Say Most Often:
1. Shut It!
2. Goddammit!
3. Rock On Sweet Sister!
4. Sunofa Bitch!
5. Get outa' the way, Jackass
6. What the fuck?
7. So, I got my chick up 'dis tounges ass......
Seven Celebrity Crushes:
1. Amy Lee
2. Liz Hurley
3. Emily Procter (CSI Miami)
4. Kate Beckinsale
5. Marg Helgenberger
6. Jeneane Garofalo
7. Lauren Graham (Lorelai Gilmore)
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2 comments:
Let's do MSG before you give Dad a wedgie.
My wife doesn't trust my driving either. We'll be backing out of the driveway, and already she's saying "do you know where you're going?"
A sweet ass is most certainly a requirement.
Who's Amy Lee?
Evanescence, my friend......
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