Jimmy, Read The First Line Of This And Tell Me You Didn' t Laugh....

I Can't Make This Shit Up, Jimmy...... I Guess I'm Just Lucky.

These People Are Crazy....

But The Messenger Is Pretty Hot. I Would Sit Through A Lecture.....

With a huge boner, i'm guessing.

(Ooohh, Jelaila, you make me want to believe in something so stupid, yet, it seems so right....)

Guess What? You Can Take That Candle Out Of Your Butt And Stick It Right In Your Ear. Huh...

Apparently the use of candles has gone far beyond my expectations....

Even If You're Single, You Can Still Sleep In Between Them...

(although the udders kinda gave me the creeps.... a little....ha!)

Umm....Yeah......Ok......I Guess...

(jesus)

I'm just going to let this go, and not comment....

(snicker)

Are You Blonde? Let's Find Out....

So, You Got The Hots For Kenny, But You Can't Have Him.....

Here's The Next Best Thing....

As If You Gave A Rat's....I Mean Gecko's Ass....

It's Critters Of Guam!!! YAY!

Tired Of The Bullshit In Politics?.....Here's Help!

(You're welcome)

Got A Kickin' Mullet?

Show it off here!!!!

(weirdo)

Goin' On A Trip And Lookin' For Nookie?

Here's all the info you'll need. Best of luck, tiger.

DIE SPAMMERS

That's All.

Need To Buy A Corpse For That Special Someone?

I guess you can get one here!!

Welcome To The Dead Rock Stars Club

YAY!

Speaking Of Furry Creatures With Sharp Teeth...

Happy Birthday, Monkey

Chewbacca Ate My Balls!

(again)

Nuthin'. Just Thought This Was Funny....

Here's One Fer Ya......

You can get a deer butt for the bargain basement price of $90.00!!! Sweet!!!

Here, Jimmy.......

"Take Me To Your Leader, Bill Gates".

Self-Explanitory

I thought Abcde, for a girl, was a nice name.......good grief.

Here's A Happy Place....

This shit's pretty funny, I must say....

Need To Take Out Some Aggression?

Have Fun.

(I did.......MUWAA-HA-HA)

Hey, Guys And Gals. Need To Say You're Sorry?

Here's a handy way!

(Thank Me Later)

...."The Hills Are......Drunk"...........

Holy crap, I think I could actually watch this now.......

Why Does Bigfoot Hide?

I'm guessing it's because everyone makes fun of his feet. His feelings must be hurt.

If someone called ME bigfoot all of the time I guess I would go into hiding too.

He must be really self concious.

C'mon guys, let's make him feel welcome.

Let's call him something like: Big Dick McGee.

That ought to make him feel better.

(And Monkey, "Bow to your Overlord")

Havin' Trouble Hittin' It In The Dark?

(This ought to help, you bad aimin' bastard)

Wanna Know When You're Gonna Kick It?

Find out here!! YAY!

Welcome Followers

"Now Bow Before The Sea Monkeys"!!

And Now..A Bedtime Story

("Isn't That Great"?)

Wanna Learn Chinese?

English Phrase / Chinese Translation

1. "That's not right"............... Sum Ting Wong

2. "Are you harboring a fugitive?".. Hu Yu Hai Ding

3. "See me ASAP".................... Kum Hia Nao

4. "There goes Stupid Man".......... Dum Dum Wa King

5. "Small Horse".................... Tai Ni Po Ni

6. "Did you go to the beach?"....... Wai Yu So Tan

7. "I bumped into a coffee table"... Ai Bang Mai Ni

8. "I think you need a face lift"... Chin Tu Fat

9. "It's very dark in here"......... Wao So Dim

10. "I thought you were on a diet".. Wai Yu Mun Ching

11. "This is a tow away zone"....... No Pah King

12. "Our meeting is next week"...... Wai Yu Kum Nao

13. "Staying out of sight!"......... Lei Ying Lo

14. "He's cleaning his automobile".. Wa Shing Ka

15. "Your body odor is offensive"... Yu Stin Ki Pu

16. "Great"......................... Su Pah

Here's One For The Kitty Lovers

No, not that kitty....

(perverts)

It's Time For "COKE-WHORE OF THE DAY"!!!

This is a new recurring post. If you have any good coke whores you would like to see, by all means let me know!!

(but who better to start with, eh?)

Welcome To Fucking, Austria! Yay!

Seriously, people, I can't make this shit up......

(good luck stealing a sign now.......)

Another Creepy Game

This is one of my favorites...

Looking For Something Special For The Skinhead In Your Life?

Try this idea! Yay!

I'm Baaack!

Sorry for the delay in posting. Typing has been a bitch! All is well now. Thank you for your concern, and now..............

We Continue.....

For Those Of You Thinkin' About Separating Frozen Hamburger Patties With An Extremely Sharp Knife.......

Don't
(More on the story later....)

Thank you, Jimmy...

That's all....

Dangit....(Praise The Lord, Pass The Ammo...)

Some of you will get a kick out of this. I know Sheldon will....

Hey, Monkey, Here's A Creepy Game......

(Not really a game, but just keep clickin' on shit. Over and over..)

Pedophile given new life

(This pic really doesn't have all that much to do with the story, except for that whole "pedophile" thing, but look closely at the album cover. It's called "Bad", and includes the bonus track.."Leave Me Alone". Where do you suppose Michael REALLY gets his inspiration? Something to think about....)

"Pamela Anderson Wouldn't Be Anything Without Her Tits.......Yes She Would. She'd Be Paris Hilton".

(title courtesy of Sarah Silverman)

When It Absolutely Has To Be There On Time....

This kid will get it there....

3 Wives Greet Man After Triple Bypass Surgery...

Apparently his heart just wasn't in it.....

(poor, lucky, bastard...)

Kermit's Turnin' 50!

When asked how he has stayed so healthy, Kermit replied:

"A steady diet of hamburgers and flies".

Hats off to you, Kermit.

Lookin' For An Amputee Russian Bride?

Have I Got A Deal For You!!!!

(I love the way you wrap your arm around me, and the smoothness of you long, slender leg...)

Oooh...A Scary Game....

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!!!

(click the eye of death)

Bored? Go Here!

A virtual butt load of stuff.

Could You Eat Seven Half Pound Burgers?

How about adding FIVE POUNDS OF FRIES to that?

You got what it takes?

Head to Boston.

According to the girl in this video, ...

It's all "STRATEGERY".

(don't forget the quarter of a pound of cheese).

(puke)

My Idea?

Get really drunk, then try it. You can always eat a sh*t-ton when you're hammered. Am I right?

This Story Makes Me Happy

Gee, I hope Lars doesn't sue me for using this picture without expressed written consent. Arrogant Bastard.

Anyway, nice to see them as an opening act again......

Where they belong.

Can You Say....."DLT"?

He just wanted a bun and some extra mayo...

Oh, that's just sick...

(Sometimes I even gross myself out)...

Need Support?

Ever have that pesky Autoexec.NT problem? I Have..... These guys tell you how to fix it for FREE in their forum. Also, a lot of other useful fixes! This beats $35 a call to

Microsh*t....

Hopefully you will find something to help you!!